The vacuum

I am standing at a point in my life at which I don’t know what is going on, and I don’t know what I want from my life so I can’t even direct it in a particular direction. It seems am just floating in vacuum with no thoughts, nothing in my mind. That is the reason I have not been able to write anything since a long time, well I never thought this phase of life would be so terrible.

I have taken some decisions by relying on my instincts, most of the times I am confident about my decisions but sometimes the faith dwindles and I wonder whether I am moving in right direction, whether my decisions will take me to a smooth peaceful life ahead or a never ending turmoil.

There have been some changes in my life lately, while living in a new environment, new people I have adapted myself to many circumstances. Yes I have made new friends (very few) and they actually are worth keeping for life time. Life has moved on, past seems like a CD which has been burnt and can’t be erased or modified but remains only in read form or rather it just flashes in front of me sometimes with both its bad and good memories.

Continuous indolence because of lack of required professional work has obliterated all the enthusiasm I had once.

Monica Dhiman

Tries to express her thoughts, observations and whatever bothers her a lot in form of words :)


  1. I can totally relate to your situation , but it's just a phase and it will go off , it will make you stronger , it will make you learn things about yourself that you din't know . So just stand tall , and keep writing , it may help you overcome these complex and ever-confusing emotions , take care :)

  2. To start with I had experience similar in my life too. I think we all do. We feel that we deserve better as we have worked harder. We feel confident and then some way the other shit happen from nowhere. This make us feel like a rudderless ship. I found even in such situation knowing 2 things always helped me.I thought I'll share One is Pareto and one krishna. Pareto 80:20 always believe even the most successful people life at the start of life has been through 20% good time and 80 shit time. They understand that and keep on working still(following law of karma and knowing this too shall pass) . And then after sometime of struggle they realise now its 80% fortune and 20 % crap. Now they knew only these 2 things you see. You also know that this is vaccum is a phase in life things might change in next chapter. But never commit a cardinal sin of losing the hope the self belief. Because has Arjun been in the same state of self doubt Mahabharta would have ended in different way. So be confident and persist . Destiny has something good for you